The Easter Bunny went down to Georgia

The Easter Bunny went down to Georgia
He was lookin' for an egg to steal
He had be assigned to deliver some eggs
And he was willin' to make a deal

When he came across this young chicken
Plucking up corn, bugs and what not
And the bunny jumped up on a hickory stump
And said, "Chicken, let me tell you what"

I guess you didnt know it
But I can lay an egg too
And if you care to take a dare
I'll just make a bet with you"

"Now you lay a pretty good egg chicken
But give the  bunny his due
I'll bet a can of cream corn against your eggs
'Cos I think I'm better than you"

The chicken said, "My name's Kentucky
And it might be a stupid
But I'll take your' bet, you're gonna regret
Cause there is no way that you’re lucid!"


Kentucky  rosin up your chicken hole and push really hard
'Cause hell's broke loose in Georgia and the bunny’s laying eggs
And if you win you get this shiny can filled with corn
But if you lose the bunny gets your eggs

The bunny opened up his vasaline
And he said, "I'll start this show"
And fire flew from his bunghole
As he begin to shovel in a giant bean

And then he bent over with his butt in the air

And out of the hole came an evil hiss
followed by a blue and pretty pink egg
And it looked something like this

When the bunny finished
Kentucky said, "well you're pretty good old son
But just sit down on that corn cob over there
Let me show you how its done


Fire up the rooster, run Chicken, run
That freakin bunny’s just laid egg with his bun
Chicken in the bread pan pickin' at dough
Granny does your egg boil? No child, no

The bunny bowed his head
Because he knew that he'd been beat
And he laid that golden corn
On the ground at Kentucky's feet

Kentucky said, "Easter Bunny,just come on back
If you ever wanna try again
I done told you once you son of a bitch
I'm the best there's ever been"

He screamed, “Fire up the rooster, run Chicken, run
That freakin bunny’s just laid egg with his bun
Chicken in the bread pan pickin' at dough
Granny does your egg boil? No child, no

Arkansas Turkey Hunting

Whose fields these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his fields fill up with turkeys.

My little son must think it queer
To hunt without a permission here
Between the woods and pasture land
During the first turkey hunt of the year.

I push the button on my electronic call
Just to here the gobble of a young jake
And when the warden pulls up
I will ask if there is some mistake.

The fields are lovely, green and posted.
But I have fines to pay,
And miles of community service before I sleep,
And miles of community service before I sleep

Freedom

Freedom

Boys are from Mars……..girls are from California

            All right it has been awhile since I have posted last, so I thought I would add my latest thought for the day.  Just recently my wife and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary.  I am particularly delighted to have made it 10 years.  Well I also noticed that in the last 10 years, I have seen a crapload of marriages come and go.  Well what is the magical secret to our success?  I like to use an old saying passed down from my father.  "We both wanted a divorce, but we couldn’t figure out who would get the children…..I wanted her to have them and she wanted me to have them!!!!"

            Well one thing I have discovered about the chic that claims half of my paycheck is that she may look like one of us but she is definitely different.  I think that is where most guys get confused.  When they look at a woman, they assume that because her features are about 85% the same as ours, that they are like us!  Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!  They are nothing like us.  It's kinda like a Californian.  When you first see one, your like yeah they prolly just like us.  Then you talk to them and nope they're not!!  Lol   Sometimes I watch on TV and think just what has gotten into those people over there.  Then I remember that is just California and that’s just how they are.  Well girls are the same way.  They look like us and they may live in the same vicinity as us, but they are nothing like us.  They do not think like men.  A man wakes up in the morning and he thinks, I'm gonna go to work, work on the boat, eat dinner, play with kids and go to bed. 

A woman explodes up and thinks, I'm gonna make coffee, put on makeup, get dressed, walk to car, drive to work, walk to office, start up the computer, play a game, do some work, read a book, call Suzy, tell Suzy about what happened the night before, go to the bathroom, Call Suzy again, go to the car, drive to sonic, eat lunch, drive back to work, call Suzy, play computer game, finish work, go home,……etc…etc…etc….

            What have we learned from this exercise, we now know that the term thinking outside the box was created by a man describing a woman.  He said that is a box.  She said that is a beige square toaster box that needs took out with the trash!  Yeah yall may be laughing, but I bet yall have all been there!  When I first got married, I thought yeah I'll have this broad figured out before too long and it will get easier.  Lol.  Man did I learn that wisdom comes with age!  They don't want us to understand them.  It takes away from the mystery of "The Woman."  You see woman get tired of the ordinary.  They assume that if they don’t like things to be routine and smooth that neither do we.  Which is wrong!  We want things to make sense.  We just can't convinse them that they are wrong.  So they intentionally mislead us.  I call this my "The sky is blue theory."  I say, "Hey honey, the sky is blue."  She says, "So you think these pants make me look fat huh!"  What the hell!! I think she knows what I said, but it is boring to her so she assumes I said something else.

            Well now we are making progress.  We know that they are nothing like us.  Once again I have to quote my father and say, "They are a different species!"  So now I just accept that I know nothing about her.  I know that some days if she is at home by herself she gets some much needed me time.  I also know that some days if she is at home by herself that I should have been there!  Lol How do I know the difference? I don't!!  I just wait until she tells me!  Which she will.  So that is the secret.  Why stress about what you don’t know.  Whatever happens in life will happen. I believe life is exactly what we make it.  Well that is 50% true for a marriage.  You can only control your half.  The other half is up to them.  I was thinking the other day that my marriage is kind of like the poem about the footprints in the sand.  A Christian was curious as to why there was only one set of footprints when times were bad and Jesus said well that was when I carried you.  Ours is kinda the same way.  There was times when we walked side by side, times when I carried her, and times when she carried me.  There was also the drag marks on the times where we had to drag the other person!  Yeah it happens!