Massacre at Barbie Hill

I can remember it like it was this morning. I was crouched in the hallway rocking back and forth as Tesa entered the room. She was saying something, but I couldn’t quite understand the words coming out of her mouth. I wanted to answer her, I tried to answer her, but nothing was happening. My mind was whirling from the images that will forever haunt me. The smell…The stench still clung to my nostrils as I gasped and tried to free my lungs of the atrocities that had filled it. Then either the lights flickered or I had lost consciousness. Maybe I should back up a few years. This story must be told from the beginning. There are two separate and defining events that sparked this disaster. The first happened on September 18th in the year of 2007 and then again on April 7th two years later. Two fireballs of deception where born unto my wife. One was black headed and skinny as a rail while the other was blond and skinny as three rails. Together they ruled their small kingdom located at the end of the hall. They were constantly on edge and kept their palace booby trapped. No one, I mean no one dared enter. I remember sending Ethan in once but after several hours and nothing, I had to send in Tesa to rescue the young lad. He was lucky. We were all lucky. Well I knew the time had come for me to straighten up this mess and on September 13, 2012 the year of our lord, I went into the darkness. Being the proud warrior that I was I carried only the bare necessities. I was armed with a laundry bag, a black trash bag, and I brought the vacuum just in case things took a turn for the worse. First things first I crossed the sea of swarming clothes. Then as I entered closer to the liar, I was astounded by the moat of shoes that guarded the box of toys. This was gonna be my greatest triumph. I started filling the trash bags with snacks past and filled the laundry bag with clothes that I’m pretty sure didn’t even belong to my children. The underwear! Where in the world did they manage to get that many pairs of underwear? When I grew up I had two pair. One for around the house and one for going to town. I promptly changed them out once a month whether I need to or not! Ok maybe not that extreme, but if there is ever a nuclear blast and the world is short on underwear come to my house cause we have stock piles. It was then that I saw it. At the bottom of the floor they were all layed out as they had fallen. I like to call it the Barbie Massacre. Yes it was horrible! I have never heard of this happening before. I’m sure Wikipedia has never even heard of what I saw there before me. It was apparent that while I slept comfortably in my bed sound asleep, a wild group of Vietnamese Communists broke into my home. We were saved by a rag tag group of barbies! And possible one G I Joe that I found taped to the TV. In one corner was the decapitation zone. This was where they took their prisoners and took off their heads one by one. Then in another corner was the red zone. This was where all the bloody or red nail polished dolls were cast aside. In the middle was where the major action took place. I remember seeing the arms and legs scattered everywhere and I will never forget the two headed Barbie. She must have been killed because she was different! I wondered how they had fought. And I also wandered why they had fought naked cause their clothes where nowhere to be found. I guess some things will never be answered and history has one more secret that will forever evade us. I believe the cat had decided that their room was a close twin of his arch enemy the litter box and he took his aggression and number two’s out on the closet. I’m sure gonna miss that cat…… I finished up my duties and stumbled into the hall and fell to my knees. It’s always afterward that the constant stress finally builds up and exits your body. I can remember it like it was this morning. I was crouched in the hallway rocking back and forth as Tesa entered the room. She was saying something, but I couldn’t quite understand the words coming out of her mouth. I wanted to answer her, I tried to answer her, but nothing was happening. My mind was whirling from the images that will forever haunt me. The smell…The stench still clung to my nostrils as I gasped and tried to free my lungs of the atrocities that had filled it. Then either the lights flickered or I had lost consciousness.