Highways

Life is full of up and downs. I have found that it most resembles a highway and the roughness of it all depends on you. You can take the smooth straight road and be safer, but there is very little excitement or scenery. There is an interstate you can take, but in doing so you will bypass parts of life. I prefer to drive on those curvy bumpy hilly two lane roads where the action is. This journey will take you through the best places and the worst. There may even be times when you have to get out and push or even drive backwards, but it is not about the destination but the journey. I have no idea where my destination will be and I’m really not sure how I’m going to get there. I remember one time a friend had a bright idea of taking the old route 66 to Las Vegas. During the trip there were many mishaps including a short layover in Albuquerque, NM. Looking back I had a blast on that trip and have more pictures of that trip than anywhere else we have been. I once swam with the sharks in the Bahamas while I was sick to my stomach and trying not to hurl which one chum the water. I bought a motorcycle one night while drinking some cold drinks. It took several days before I worked up the nerve to ride it and I will never forget the day I missed the road and collided with a stop sign on that thing. I could go on and on but my point should be clear by now. Years later you will not remember those good days when everything went perfect. Those days when nothing really happened. You will only remember those horrible days when you cussed and threw a fit because it was unexpected. If fact you will treasure those memories for the rest of your life.

Black Bandits

For those who know me, they know that four years ago I was fortunate enough to get to go to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I wasn’t going for the sights, or the entertainment. I went to meet some of the best people that I will ever know. I met a group of people that set the standard on what it is like to be an American. I left there knowing that these men had sacrificed everything to have everything. They were soldiers!
Every year in September a Wiley group of helicopter pilots, their crew chiefs, and their accomplices meet up to celebrate a time in their life when they were fighting for each other’s lives. They didn’t fight for themselves, they fought for the guy standing next to them. They flew into places that nowadays would be considered suicide. No wasn’t an option for them and turning back was unheard of. They were simply soldiers doing what needed to be done.
I am proud to call one of these fine pilots my father and I am proud to meet the men that served with him. I am proud to know the men that flew beside him to protect him and all the men on the ground. They didn’t brag one bit when I met them, instead they took the time to brag on the person that stood next to them. I believe my older brother and I were delighted that we could be sight see’ers for this awesome spectacle. They were everything that we hoped to be.
As Rick and I left there we both knew we wanted to come back. We knew we were destined to tell the stories we heard. My one hope was that my young son could be able to meet these men and understand what they stood for and what they did for their country. This year we planned our family vacation to coincide with their reunion. Even though my son is only 10, I hope that when he is old enough to understand that he was part of something great. That he was able to be part of something that forever will be in the hearts and minds of my father and his comrades. So one day he can say that out of all the great things and great places he has been that in September of 2012 he met Black Bandits!
God bless you Lt. Colonel Larry Charles Hall, the Black Bandits, and every person that fought beside or with these great men!

The Highway Elf

Many moons ago when the earth was flat, Santa wasn’t always what he appeared to be. Santa used to be a thief. All through the land everyone feared the end of the year. They knew that there was that one night of the year when that little fat bandit would break into their homes and steal everything they had. He would steal knives, clubs, silverware, and anything of value. There was even that one year that the young maiden Vicky claimed he stole her virginity! Although that one has been disputed several times. There was only one way to keep the little obese sucker away. You had to leave alcohol and food out for him. It was common knowledge that Santa loved his brew. If you could get him drunk enough he would forget what he was doing and pass out somewhere for the remainder of the night. So at night they would leave out a bottle of home brew and food. The children were never nestled or tucked in their beds. Cause they were afraid of being peed on again.
One year Santa and Mrs. Clause had a huge fight and Santa went on a 3 day bender! He knew that he only had one night to gather enough loot to support his family for the entire year! Last year when he wrecked halfway through, Mrs. Clause beat him till he was black and blue. So this year he had an idea. He hollered at Obama his favorite elf. Obama wasn’t a native of the North Pole, but had somehow produced a birth certificate that showed he was at least born there. Obama was the go to elf. If Santa needed to fire someone or screw them over, he would send him right over. Obama could not only get the job done, he could make them beg him to do it! He was even known to make them think it was their fault! There was even that one time that Obama had convinced the entire village of elves that since Santa had a bad back and Mrs. Claus couldn’t work because of a felony on her record that they should support them. Well since Santa knew there was only one way he could screw an entire world over in one night he hollered at his boy Obama and they saddled up a couple of Reindeer and took off on their crusade.
Obama wasn’t near as polite as Santa though! He never snuck into a house! He would beat on their door until they woke up! He then made them gather all their stuff up and load it themselves onto the sleigh. But he knew how to accomplish this without a fuss. He told the rich that he was going to take from them to give to the poor. He told the less than rich that they were giving to the poor and then he just took from the poor! Then he found those that had absolutely nothing because they did nothing and gave them a little of what he had. This way he could say he was redistributing the wealth. It was an awesome plan and Santa couldn’t have been happier! That was until the accident!
Santa had more loot than he had expected and it looked like they were gonna finish in record time. Then as they were flying over a remote section of what one day would be called Arkansas, Obama got greedy! He spied a quaint little Indian village below! Obama figured they could swing in there real quick, pretend to be some kind of magic spirit and talk the natives out of their stuff. He was wrong! For this was the earliest branch of rednecks in the world! This was a bunch of wild hard living, hard drinking Indians. When Santa rolled up they gladly welcomed him into their lodge where he was given all the smoke and drink that he could stand! And when they were all toasted Obama jumped up and told them his plan to help out the needy this year and how he wanted all the stuff that they had worked hard for their entire lives. The wily redneck Indian Chief known as “The Duke” had a wonderful idea. He told Obama to back the sleigh up to their storage teepee and they would load him up! Santa was pretty lit and curled up with 3 little chubby squaws so little Obama harnessed up the team and pulled around back! It was then that they caught the little half-wit and tied him to an evergreen tree! They then got all the loot and dropped it down the top of all the teepees in the village. They shot all the reindeer but one! They placed the ole fat Santa on this small ugly reindeer with a red nose and sent him back to where he came from! The villagers had a huge feast on Reindeer and all the children awoke to find toys had been dropped into their home. They all assumed it was Santa who did it because he had been there with a sleigh full of stuff earlier. That was the year that the legend of Santa changed. For the following years Santa would bring them gifts to cover up his horrible secret. It turns out he had sold out Obama in trade for….well lets just say Santa got what he wanted. Right before dawn they lit the tree on fire to get rid of the little half-wit and all the evil he had brought to their village. But he did scream out something that sounded like a chant or maybe it was a curse.
He sang!
I am a Highway elf
On the sky’s I did ride
Many peoples were duped my me
But the basturds burnt me on a Christmas tree
Perhaps I will be an elf again, or a highwayman, sailor, dam builder or star ship pilot.
Or else I may simply be a president
But I will remain
And I'll be back again, and again and again and again and again..

REST IN PEACE MY BROTHERS IN BLUE

Today as the sun rose upon the horizon two brave law enforcement officers kissed their families goodbye and went out into the world. They entered a world that for the most part despises them. They were met by people that have determined law enforcement to be a nuisance. They are like deer to these people. Everyone wants to see one in season, but after that, it just spells disaster on the road. The same falls for the law enforcement officer. He is welcomed with every 911 call, but when seen on the highway people hate them. These guys are glared at and people call them every name in the book behind their backs. It appears maybe they wrote someone a ticket before or maybe arrested someone’s brother or cousin. The officer is considered heartless because how could he dare do the job he is paid to do. The problem is people see these officers writing tickets or breaking up fights, or even taking someone to jail. They do not see them when they roll up to a fatal accident or homicide. They do not see them when they recover someone’s mom, sister, or child out of the raging waters. They do not see the tears that these brave men and women cry into the darkness. After today, they will not see Deputy Rhyne or Officer Crouse doing anything. These two fine law enforcement officers were gunned down for no reason today! They were murdered on American soil by Americans. These murderers then had the audacity to commit suicide directly afterward. It just seems to reason, that if you’re suicidal, just kill yourself. Our brothers in blue do not want to die with you. Even though they have decided to live their lives on the edge, they do not need you to push them off the side. So as each one of you put your children to bed tonight, I want you to think of the children of these officers. Imagine what they must be feeling at this very moment. They were robbed of the most important thing in their entire lives by a thief. Only this time the valuables cannot be returned. So the next time that you see an officer doing what he is supposed to be doing, smile at him, wave at her, or just say thank you. They do not expect that from anyone, but I can imagine it will help them stomach the next bad thing that they must digest at work for you! And let’s not forget our brother in blue Jessie Ricks who dedicated a large part of his life in serving the community! May god watch over his weary soul! RIP

Lets Rebuild Washington

You know I was reading all the statuses about where all the first responders were not invited to the 9/11 reunion and I thought surely this has to be a mistake. It wasn’t. It is true!!!!!! Our leaders suck! I would love to see a good independent run for president! I'm sick of both the democrats and the republicans! There's not much difference in any of them right now!!!
It’s sad when only our big money can afford to run for president or major office. What we need is a good blue blooded American in that office. I don’t care if they have any experience in politics or foreign policy. It all boils down to good ole common sense. Why do we bother sending a representative from Arkansas if all they are going to do in Washington is play politics with their political party? A representative should represent us not some liberal ass politician from Illinois. But sadly if we elect someone that is a democrat, they feel compelled to vote democrat.
I am a registered democrat and usually vote for republican candidates in the main elections! Why? Because I believe in more than just a political party! I believe that we should start asking ourselves who we are voting for. Also why is it costing billions of dollars to run for an office? That money needs spent somewhere else. I say we propose a limit on politicking. I say they all raise a specified amount and get a specified amount of TV, Radio, and speech time. If they can t do it on their own, they shouldn’t be doing it! I believe Americans are sick of the lies, innuendos, and fake speeches. We just want to know that when it comes down to it, our representative is going to vote for us.
There are more middle and lower class Americans than anyone else. If we all sent a few dollars to a good independent candidate, he or she could afford to run against the idiots that are vying for office. By gosh I have not seen one that I would even invite to my house for dinner. If we don’t take a stand now, it will be too late one day! It’s time the Majority stopped being over ran by the minority! I’m not meaning race either, I mean if the majority of people want something, it should be done. Not the minority telling the majority how to do it!!!! Maybe I’m just ranting! lol

Nursery Rhymes

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you dumb ass"

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a Spider
who sat down beside her...
and she ate him too..

Mary had a little Lamb,
It followed her to school,
They tied a brick around its neck
And drowned it in the pool.

Little boy blew....................He​ needed the money

jack and jill
went up the hill
each with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with 2.50.. the dirty whore


mary had a little lamb...
that will teach her to sleep in the barn!

I love you
You love me
Barney gave me HIV
It started with a kiss
but then he wanted more,
damn that horny dinosaur

Mary had a little lamb
she also had a bear.
I wonder why nobody talks about the bear??????

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe.
She had so many kids her uterus fell out!!!

Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a plasma TV,
a CD player, a cell phone,
an ipod, and an Xbox 360.
Mary was a spoiled little girl

Georgie Porgy, pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

Twinkle twinkle little snout,
how I wander what ur not,
pull u out,
let you dry,
you'll b a booger by and by

Hey diddle diddle, the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car

Old King Cole was a merry old soul
And a merry old soul was he
He called for his pipe and he called for his bowl
And now I guess we know about Old King Cole!

Mary had a little watch
she swallowed it one day
and so she took some Epsom salts
to pass the time away
But though she tried, and tried, and tried
...she couldn't make time pass
So if you want to know the time
just look up Mary's...
...uncle in the Yellow Pages. He sells watches.

A strapping young pirate named Bates
once tried to disco on skates.
He fell on his cutlass
and now he is nutless
and practically useless on dates.

Little Miss Muffett
sat on a tuffett
covered in gasoline
along came a spider
with a butane lighter
and blew her to smithereens

They're once was a man from nass, his balls were made out of brass, when he rubbed them together they played stormy weather and lightning shot out his ass!!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
Thanks to a litigious culture, and a legal vulture
Humpty Dumpty made a big score

Little Bo peep has lost her sheep
And doesn't know where to find them.
She didn’t know about the foot and mouth
Or that the farmer had to burn them

Hey I found a website that showed how all these nursery rhymes came about in the first place. Kinda of neat. most of them were political satires.
http://thereisnospace.blog​spot.com/2007/07/nursery-r​hymes-simply-childs-play.h​tml

Man its been along time since I have wrote on this freakin blog. I was trying to think of something cool to write about and then I thought man my life is boring. I don’t know anything good. As I say this Ethan is walking the alligator around the living room on a leash and a raccoon is sitting beside me eating an animal cracker! Well dang still cant think of anything good! Lol
Well there was the instance of Jaycee eating a dime! Apparently dimes are made from corn cause they come out just like they go in! Well actually the dime came out a blue color. So my advice to anyone handling money is not to worry about whos hands have touched the money, but whose butt it is has come out of!!! Also beware the Ides of March and Blue Money!!! The poor girl refused to do her business cause she was afaid of what might come out! At first I thought that maybe she thought it would hurt, then I remembered this was Jaycee! She prolly ate something more important and thought we would find it! She got away with it apparently! I just put the dime into her bail bond fund and let it go!
Then there is the case of Roxy the rocking raccoon! She is the cutest, cuddlest, awsomest, piece of conniving, aggrevating, un-nerving, coon! She reminds of me of a woman. I want her, but deep down I know she only has a couple of uses. The hard part is figuring out what to do with her during the other 23 hours of the day!! That coon has broken or tasted everything in the house. She refuses to take a spanken, but you can yell her name and she immediately stops what she is doing. This doesn’t count when she is wrestling with you. I do believe in a few weeks she will be ready to play for the Razorbacks! She has only one level of playfulness and it involves me bleeding and crying! But then she will curl up in your lap and she melts your heart. I prolly could of put Tesa’s name in there and it would have had the same meaning huh!
Well that’s all that’s going on at the Hall Pad lately! Yeah right, but the rest I cant put on here cause there is simply not time or enough internet space!