Dear Santa

Dear Santa,
I would like a new bag of patience for Christmas.  I am down to my last one and I do not believe that it will last very long.  I began to notice my supply getting low the other day and my wife noticed today and was sure to point it out to me.  It appears that you have to have this to operate machinery, work in law enforcement, and raise a family.  I am afraid if I use up my last little bit then I will have to quit one or the other.  I believe some criminals this year may have stolen some of it while I wasn't looking.  There was also that 20MPH driver that I hurled some at trying to get the sucker to speed up.  I wont say what I did to the guy that forgot to use his blinker today.  It is also quite possible that my wife and kids have been slowly looting my supply for years.  In my younger years I did not use as much therefore I thought there was no need to try and conserve it.  I have been abusing my stash too much lately and I'm afraid that Walmart will be sold out this close to Christmas. I knew there was some on sale on Black Friday.  When I got there, the little old lady in front of me got the last one.  I am ashamed to say that I tried to take it from her. Apparently her stash was low too and she beat me with her cane and threw her false teeth at me.  I also found some at the dollar store, but it was not of high quality and wore off quickly.  I have decided that you are my last option.
Thanks,
You know who